Savanna: The Girl Who Burned Bright & Left Quietly

“Some days, I wonder what kind of person you’d be if the world had been softer to you.” –Nikita Gill

My Interpretation: I do not just miss her. I miss the version of her that could have existed if someone had wrapped their arms around her instead of pushing her to “cheer up.” I miss the woman she never got to become. & I still carry that quiet guilt of survival – the ache of loving someone too late to say it out loud.

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✨ The Spark

She had a loud laugh.
A soft heart.
& secrets tucked behind glitter eyeliner and sharp comebacks.

We met my freshman year - she was a sophomore.
Early hallway chaos.
Falling on ice & helping each other up – 
In turn ending up with both of us on our asses & laughing until we got yelled at that we were late. 
We were not best friends.
But we were something.
A spark.
A shared understanding that high school was both too much and not enough.
She was not the kind of girl who faded into corners.
She lit up rooms like she did not know she was on fire.

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🫥 & Then-She Was Gone

No warning.
No explanation.
Just… silence.

The kind that drops your stomach every time you hear a name that sounds like hers.
The kind that makes you replay conversations in your head like maybe, just maybe, you missed something.

The missed signs. The could-I-have-saids.
They echo.

She died by suicide.
& I learned - at fourteen - 
that you can be surrounded by people
& still feel completely alone.

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🚨 The Lie of “Gone But Not Forgotten”

She did not get a banner.
Did not get a hallway tribute.
Did not get a five-minute silence on the field.

A brand-new school barely paused.
They did not care.

Because Savanna was not homecoming queen.
Was not top of her class.
Was not a fan favorite.

She was loud.
Messy.
A little reckless in the way girls are when they are holding everything in.

But she mattered.
& I will not let her be forgotten - 
Not like that.

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💔 What I Still Carry

I still think about her laugh.
Her chaos.
The way she made you feel like you were in on something important.
I still wonder what kind of woman she would have become.
What we would have talked about now.

Motherhood?
Regret?
Rage?

She did not get to grow up.
But I did.
& I carry her with me every time I remind someone they are allowed to stay.

For Savanna
For the girls who burned too fast. 
For the light they left behind. 

Xoxo ♡

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