“Too soft for this world? Maybe. But maybe the world should’ve been gentler.” –Nikita Gill

 

My Interpretation: I did not break because I was weak. I broke because I stayed soft in a world that demanded steel. But that softness? That was my rebellion. That was my strength. The burnout is real; the contractions are endless & being emotionally intelligent starts to feel like a fucking curse.

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Series 5 – Part 1: Standalone Punches

Burnout & Being Too Damn Soft to Survive This World Without Getting Hard

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I used to think burnout happened to other people.

 

People who were not “built for this.”

People who could not juggle.

Who cracked under pressure.

Who did not know how to smile while bleeding out.

 

Then I got tired.

 

Like bone-deep,

time-does not-exist,

my-soul-is-heavy,

tired.

 

The kind of tired that is not physical-

it is existential.

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You spend your whole life trying to be good.

Kind.

Flexible.

Supportive.

 

You stay soft when they tell you to toughen up.

You stay strong when they tell you to let it go.

You keep listening…

Giving…

Understanding…

Empathizing…

Until there is nothing left in you to pull from.

 

& even then?

They ask for more.

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& if you finally say no?

Suddenly you are cold.

Difficult.

Bitter.

Aggressive.

Hard to love.

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Let us talk contradictions:

• Be vulnerable but not too emotional.
• Be confident but not intimidating.
• Be assertive but stay likable.
• Be available but do not be needy.
• Be a great mom, partner, employee, daughter, friend, housekeeper, therapist, chef, scheduler, financial planner, emotional sponge, & human Xanax.

 

Oh –

& do not forget to smile.

Because if you do not look like you are handling it “gracefully”?

They will call it a breakdown.

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Let us talk about being soft:

Not weak.

Not naive.

Just soft.

 

≫Soft enough to cry at dog videos.

≫Soft enough to feel a room shift before anyone speaks.

≫Soft enough to hold space for people who never held it for you.

 

Softness is not fragility.

It is endurance.

 

It is refusing to become the thing that hurt you.

It is still choosing to love –

even when cruelty is easier.

 

But let us be honest –

It feels like a curse sometimes.

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Burnout is not just physical.

It is emotional depletion → from existing in contradiction.

It is feeling everything → while being expected to feel nothing.

It is holding everyone else together → while quietly coming undone.

 

& sometimes?

 

It looks like not texting back.

Not because you do not care –

But because you literally do not

have the energy

to carry one more thing.

Not even a “how are you.”

Not even a conversation.

 

Because you do not know how to answer

without lying or unraveling.

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& the worst part?

 

People do not notice when you struggle.

Not when you hint.

Not when you are visibly drowning

but still passing out life vests like it is your job.

 

They only notice when you finally stop.

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So here is my real talk:

 

I am tired.

 

Not of loving –

▸But of having to explain why I deserve to be loved back.

Not of giving –

▸But of being expected to do it for free.

Not of being soft –

▸But of defending it like it is something shameful.

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I do not want to harden.

I do not want to become cold.

But I do not know if I can survive like this –

unseen, overused, & under-asked about.

 

So, if I seem quieter now…

If I say no more often…

If I stop sugarcoating what used to go down easier with a smile –

 

▷It is not bitterness.

▷It is boundaries.

▷It is survival.

 

It is the part of me that finally said:

I do not want to break just to prove I can bend.

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This is your real talk:

 

You are not too soft.

The world has just been too cruel.

& you are still here.

 

Which means you are

harder than hell in all the right ways.

 

Xoxo ♡