“Your heart was never too much. You just gave it to people who had no idea what to do with something that real.” -Daniell Koepke

My Interpretation: There is a difference between being unloved & being underloved. The second one is trickier; because it feels like love, but it is missing all the parts that matter. It will have you questioning your worth when really, they were just never capable of holding something that whole.

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It Was That I Kept Choosing People Who Did Not Know How

Series 5: Standalone Punches – Post 8

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They said they loved me.

But they did not know how to:

• See me

• Choose me

• Stay when I got messy

• Hold the whole version of me –

not just the pretty, put-together, performing parts.

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& I thought that meant I was broken.

☒ Too loud.

☒ Too complex.

☒ Too intense.

☒ Too… much.

But the truth?

I was not too much.

They were too small.

& I kept shrinking myself to fit inside their limits.

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I used to think love was something I had to earn.

So I bent.

& bent.

& bent –

until my own spine forgot what standing straight even felt like.

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& when the bending did not work,

I started blaming myself.

Maybe if I were calmer.

Prettier.

Quieter.

More understanding.

Less emotional.

More likeable…

Maybe then, I would be chosen all the way.

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But you know what choosing someone really means?

It means:

• Answering their texts even when you are tired

• Remembering what they love; even if it is “just” a book

• Not punishing them with silence

• Not withdrawing affection when they ask for help

• Not acting like they are a burden just for needing you

It means meeting them where they are –

not expecting them to climb a mountain just to feel worthy.

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Choosing me properly means:

• Showing up when it is inconvenient

• Being consistent after the newness wears off

• Loving me out loud, not just in secret

• Letting my needs coexist with yours—

not become something you roll your eyes at.

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It was not that I could not be loved.

It is that I kept giving gold

to people who did not even bring their hands.

They just opened their mouths

& waited to be fed.

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But not anymore.

Now I choose me first.

Now I know what choosing should feel like.

& now, I will not settle for anything less.

xoxo ♡