“What we have once enjoyed deeply we can never lose. All that we love deeply becomes a part of us.” -Helen Keller

My Interpretation: Love does not leave. It changes form. It echoes differently. Sometimes it comes back with oversized paws & dramatic vocal opinions.

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Goose entered my life loudly.

> Long legs.

> Too-big paws.

> One vaccine.

> Zero fear.

 

He followed me from the first day like he had been briefed in advance.

 

Room to room.

Step for step.

 

If I move ⇨ he moves.

If I pause ⇨ he leans.

 

He refuses to be left behind or leave me behind either.

---

He talks.

 

Actual conversations.

⤷ Moans.

⤷ Groans.

⤷ Grumbles.

Tiny complaints about absolutely everything + nothing all at once.

 

It is impossible not to laugh.

---

& yet…

 

There is something familiar in him.

 

Something wild & unafraid.

 

Something that listens in a way that feels deeper than training.

 

Koby will never be replaceable.

He was my once-in-a-lifetime soul dog.

He knew me & my needs better than I did.

When I think of him to this day, it still breaks my heart.

⤷ It still brings tears to my eyes.

 

Goose shares the similarities with Koby though that I must note –

➜ Brave.

➜ Unbothered.

➜ Jumping into bathtubs like they were personal party invitations.

➜ Howling at the moon like he was personally responsible for it.

 

Goose is not Koby. Nor will he be referred to as my “perfect pumpkin” – regardless of the similarities + cuteness of puppy bonding experiences.

 

But sometimes, when Goose tilts his head just right, when he nudges my hand with that insistent nose, when he refuses to let me walk out of a room alone, I feel something I cannot fully explain.

 

Not replacement.

Continuation.

 

As if the space Koby carved open in my heart did not close.

 

It expanded.

---

Goose is chaos.

⤷ He trips over his own feet.

⤷ He dramatically flops mid-walk.

⤷ He makes sounds that feel unnecessary & theatrical.

 

But he listens.

✧ He watches.

✧ He presses his body against my legs like anchoring is his personal job description.

 

& maybe it is.

Maybe he is not here to fill a space.

Maybe he is here to run wild in it.

 

To remind me that grief does not end love.

It stretches it.

---

Rowan laughs at Goose the way he used to laugh at Koby.

Not the same.

But free.

& that feels important.

 

Goose is not here to heal what broke.

 

He is here to live loudly in a house that knows loss.

He is here to follow me everywhere.

 

✧ To refuse to let me move through rooms alone.

✧ To groan his way dramatically through life like the world owes him commentary.

✧ To sleep with a growing fluff ball behind my head & stealing the entirety of my pillow.

✧ To negotiate with someone who cannot fully understand/talk in the same language – yet does at the same time?

 

& honestly?

 

I needed that energy.

I needed something that insisted on staying close.

 

Koby taught me what devotion feels like.

Goose is teaching me what it looks like when devotion comes back, different but just as wild.

 

& I think that is beautiful.

 

Xoxo ♡

 

(Rowan also asking Grannie’s, “Can you fight a Goose?” when they ask why his name is Goose… #priceless)