✨Things I Do Instead of Falling Apart (Usually)

---

“It’s okay to be the person who cries in the work bathroom. It’s okay to be the person who lies on the floor and lets the dog walk on your back like a bridge.” -Anne T. Donahue

My Interpretation: I am not okay every day. & I do not always have time to fall apart properly. Not everything has to be healthy. Or profound. Or fucking graceful. Sometimes the goal isn’t healing – it’s not combusting.

---

🖤 The List of Things I Do Instead of Falling Apart (Usually)

This isn’t one of those “10 Things to Do When You’re Anxious” posts that tells you to hydrate & breathe like a yoga whisperer.
This is what I do when I feel like I’m about to come undone – but still have a kid, a pile of dishes, & a life to limp through.
So, no. It is not always deep.
It does not fix everything.
But it slows the spiral.
Usually…
& sometimes, that is enough.

---

1. 🧃Put a frozen waffle in the toaster just to feel in control
   Sometimes I eat it. Sometimes I don’t. It is about power, not carbs.
   
2. 💀 Rename my sourdough starter something unhinged.
   Last time it was Alpha-Hole. No regrets. He deserved it.
   
3. 🧽 Clean the bathroom sink with unnecessary rage.
   Cleansing by way of Clorox then brush your teeth – you ever spit out your toothpaste in a freshly cleaned sink? Breath of fresh air homie.
   
4. 🚗 Cry in the car so I can still say “I’m fine” when I walk inside.
   Not healthy. But effective. We call this emotionally efficient self-denial.
   
5. 📲 Send a meme to a friend who gets it.
   Translation: “Please tell me I am not alone in this spiral.”
   
6. 🎵 Turn on music that feels like yelling without actually yelling.
   T-Swizzle. Linkin Park. The sound of my own emotional combustion.
   
7. 📚 Read book quotes until one punches me in the soul.
   Then screenshot it, save it, never look at it again. Or until my phone bitches at me that my “storage is full” & I am being a cheap B & refusing to upgrade that storage… yet again…
   
8. 🎬 Pretend I’m the main character in a sad indie film.
   Bonus points if it is raining. Extra credit if I dramatically stare out the window.
   
9. 🍞 Baking something chaotic with no plan.
   Is it a loaf? A brick? Emotional alchemy, nonetheless.
   
10. 📝 Write it down. Even if it’s ugly. Even if I delete it later.
    Because silence is what broke me last time. & it will break me. Every. Single. Time.
    
11. 🚬 Buy a pack of cigarettes. Smoke one. Throw the rest in the trash.
    Must be disposed of immediately at the gas station or I spiral into a nicotine renaissance.
    
12. 🐾 Struggle-snuggle my dogs until they leave me.
    They bark when I sing. Rude, but valid. (I am tone-deaf, but they are not actually Simon Cowell, so how do they know?)
    
13.  🧸 Hide under my fluffy ass blanket with a book.
    Say “fuck it” to everything else. Especially the dishes. Definitely the dishes. + probably the laundry.

---

Looking for bonus points?

• Put on Mascara (feelings always look hotter w/ mascara).  
• Text a reminder to my therapist that he’s been ‘ghosting’ me for weeks on end (truth, I will then accept my 2-3 responses from him before he ignores me again… Do I have it coming?)
• Whisper a blog post idea into the voice memo app (again, I really need to update my storage).
• Paint my nails in different colors (literally 5 different colors).
• Go to fucking Target or TJ Maxx – that is why they created credit cards… right?
• Open the bottle of wine, take my one chug, then cook with it – to truly feel the rebellion streak living wild through me. Moscato does in fact go great in everything imaginable. #facts

Xoxo ♡

---