“You can love someone and still choose to say goodbye. You can miss a person every day and still be glad they are no longer in your life.” –Beau Taplin
My Interpretation: Leaving does not make you heartless. Staying does not make it holy. Sometimes love is real & not enough. & sometimes the healthiest thing you can do is let go before it finishes breaking you. You do not have to wait for the “final straw” or the “out”. You do not need a permission slip. You just the need the truth: It is enough. You have had enough. You are enough.
Series 5: Post 4 – Standalone Punches
I thought I had to earn my exit.
Like it was not enough to be lonely.
Or disrespected.
Or disappointed again & again.
No – I thought I needed evidence.
A smoking gun.
A cheat code.
A betrayal so bold even the bystanders would say,
“Oh… yeah. That is bad enough to leave.”
But here is what I have learned –
There is no prize for how long you stayed.
No reward for how much of yourself you lost prior to walking away.
No crown for the woman who loved the hardest & broke the worst.
There is just you.
You, trying to patch the cracks again.
Trying to justify red flags again.
Trying to explain the weight of something that no one else sees –
because it is all happening in the silences,
in the gasps,
in the pauses no one notices.
I used to say:
➜ “It is not that bad.”
➜ “Maybe they will change.”
➜ “Maybe I am just being too sensitive.”
➜ “Other people have it worse.”
& the one that really guts me now?
“If I just hold on a little longer, maybe…”
But you know what?
✍︎ You do not need a final straw.
✍︎ You do not need an audience.
✍︎ You do not need his mom’s approval.
✍︎ You do not need a note from your therapist (even if he shows up on time for once).
You do not need anything except this:
You are allowed to leave.
Even if he did not hit you.
Even if you are not financially “ready.”
Even if people think he is charming.
Even if you still love him.
Even if no one else understands.
Let me say it louder:
⇢ You can leave a relationship that drains you.
⇢ You can leave a town that suffocates you.
⇢ You can leave a friendship that minimizes you.
⇢ You can leave a career path that kills your spirit.
You do not need to hit rock bottom.
You do not need to burn out to ash.
You can just decide: I’m done.
& that decision can be your freedom.
I forgot that for a long time.
I forgot that “walking away” did not have to look like rage or flames or shattered plates.
It could just look like quietly reclaiming your peace.
It could look like packing up the pieces of yourself & whispering,
“I think I deserve better than this.”
Even if your voice shakes.
You do not have to wait until it is too late.
Until your joy is unrecognizable.
Until your reflection feels like a stranger.
Until you have explained
& explained
& explained…
yourself raw.
If you are waiting for permission –
This is it.
Leave before it breaks you.
Leave before it empties you.
Leave before you start believing that this is the best you can get.
You do not owe anyone your suffering.
Not in the name of love.
Not in the name of loyalty.
Not in the name of “he is trying.”
You owe yourself the chance to be free.
& freedom does not need permission.
Let me be clear:
✌︎ You do not need to justify walking away from something that is hurting you.
✌︎ You do not need a tally of offenses.
✌︎ You do not need to a dramatic story arc.
✌︎ You do not need a bruise, a blowout, or a broken window to make it real.
You can just be done.
You can just decide, quietly or loudly:
This is not love. This is not peace. This is not mine anymore.
People will ask:
☒ “But did he cheat?”
☒ “Was he abusive?”
☒ “Did something happen?”
& when you say, “No. Not exactly,”
They will tilt their heads like you are overreacting.
But here is what they will not see:
✘ How he forgot your birthday – again.
✘ How you begged for emotional intimacy & got eye rolls in return.
✘ How your dreams got smaller just to make room for his ego.
✘ How every conversation felt like walking into traffic.
✘ How you carried it all, & he still called you too much.
You do not need a “final straw” moment.
You do not need to be backed into a corner.
You do not need your trauma to be dramatic to be valid.
You are allowed to say,
I am not happy. I am not okay. I want something else.
Even if it is quiet.
Even if no one claps for you.
Even if the only person who understands is you.
You can leave when it is not working.
You can leave while you still love him.
You can leave before you become someone you do not recognize.
You can leave because you want to.
That is reason enough.
If you’re looking for a sign –
This is it.
You do not have to wait until it gets worse.
What you need… is truth.
& if the truth is that you are not thriving?
That is sacred. That is sufficient.
Leave when you are still soft.
Leave while your light still flickers.
Leave before you forget how it felt to be loved well.
You do not need permission.
You need peace.
Go find it.
Xoxo ♡
Whisper to the ghosts. Yell into the void. Just don’t be an asshole.